The Journey of Eurydice

Does anyone have any books on tape they'd be willing to lend?

A friend of mine from work is a blind gentleman who mentioned that while he really enjoys books on tape, they're expensive and so he owns very few of them. To put it simply, he's from the hood. Chicago Public Schools do not offer much in the way of career training for special needs. The Chicago Lighthouse just placed him at his first real job, at Vong's, a year ago. He's in his 40s now.

He doesn't expect and wouldn't accept handouts, but being loaned a book or two from a friend is the kind of normal thing that he would accept. And I'd like to try to arrange it for him.

Thanks.

Yes.

You make me ashamed to have a penis
by tsaven
Oct. 9

A recent experience helping my not-girlfriend mordere flesh out her profile further reinforced something that I've already known for a while, and anyone with a vagina who uses this site knows as well.

We boys are a stupid, stupid gender.

Just looking at some of the messages that she has to routinely clear out of her inbox made my jaw drop. I mean . . . seriously? Where the fuck do these guys come from?

What really blows my mind is that these actually are people sending out these messages. Not some retarded spam-bot with only a tenuous grasp of the English language, but supposedly functional human beings, hopelessly whacking at their keyboards in an endless and unfocused attempt to, and I'm only guessing here, have sex. I'm at a loss for who these people are in real life. There can't actually be this many people with Downs Syndrome on this site. How do these people function in the real world?

There are stupid people everywhere in meatspace, but the level of idiocy evident in most messages boggles my tiny little male mind. Judging from the writing samples and profile content, I think it's a fair assumption that everyone with a penis is too retarded to accomplish basic tasks such as "wiping their own ass", "feeding themselves", and "sleeping". My own morbid facination with idiocy makes me want to sit down with some of these guys, and ask them what the hell they are thinking when they write these messages? And even more then that, I want to actually talk with any female who's replied positivly to these messages, and ask them what the hell THEY'RE thinking.

And here's the part that really fucks with me head. Statistics tell us that by the age of 55, 95% of people in this country will be married or at one point will have been married. This implies that at least 95% of people in this country will, at some point in their lives, have sex.

So this means that the VAST majority of the troglodytes who are sending these hopelessly weak, generic, form messages will at some point in their lives find a partner who is stupid enough, or desperate enough, to have sex with them. And maybe even have a relationship with them.

So I suppose my astonishment is two-fold. One, that there are men in this world that are this dumb, and two, that there WOMEN in this world who like them in spite of it.

This is part of the reason that I list myself as Straight in my profile, even though I have been known to, on occasion, enjoy the cock. Gay men are just as guilty of this as their breeder counterparts, although I have to say usually slightly less retarded. Maybe that's because the truly desperate and uncreative ones don't even bother with this site, instead sticking to Craigslist's Casual Encounters section. For whatever reason, while I did get a lot of dumb fluff messages from my fellow faggots, they weren't as bad as what it seems most of the girls on this site have to put up with.

So, on behalf of my gender, I openly and unconditionally apologize to the women of this site for the actions of . . . well, all of us.

And I encourage you all to go gay.

---------------------------------------

This goes hand in hand with my own minor peice of internet fame, How To Write To Womnen On Okcupid.

Also, he said "supposedly functional human beings, hopelessly whacking at their keyboards in an endless and unfocused attempt to, and I'm only guessing here, have sex." Yes. This.

sending out a feeler. anyone interested in doing dinner for Slaughtering and Displacing Indigenous Peoples Day? people orphaned in chicago or just don't like seeing biological relatives?

i make good food...

This is looking to be an *awesome* show.



Be there!

created an rss feed for groupon in chicago: http://syndicated.livejournal.com/groupon_chicago/profile

should be useful. hopefully i did it correctly.

Fare you well upon your journey,
To the bright lands far away,
Where beside the peaceful rivers,
You may linger any day.
In the forests warm at noontide,
See the flowers bloom in the glades,
Meet the friends who've gone before you,
To the calm of quiet shades.
There you'll wait, O my beloved,
Never knowing want or care,
And when I have seen my seasons,
We will walk together there.



( Kristina found her litter in a window well when we were 10 )

She passed in my lap on Thursday afternoon. She was nearly 17.

Rest in peace, Stella Mae.

JUST GOT THIS RINGTONE: http://www.cellsea.com/ringtone/detail/RT4aed4b0484a21.htm#

(which is this:)



now you must all call me. a lot. when i'm not and work and can have the sound on.

I had an excellent Halloween. It started with a plan to dress as socially inappropriate Barbie dolls, based off Julia's jokes about Keesha the first black Barbie. We came up with:

Julia: "Mammie" / House Nigger Barbie $10SALE! $6 (only 3/5ths)
Mike: Trucker Ken $10 and a case of Schlitz
Nicole: Trailer Barbie $10 and a pack of Newports
Hunter: Homeless Ken 30c for a bus pass (please help god bless)
Me: Chola Barbie $10 or 2000 pesos
Alex: Vato Ken $10, ese!

In the last 24 hours, the party of 6 became a party of 12 as we were joined by other in non theme costumes, whom we mostly tagged and included anyway, because Julia was having fun making pricetags:

Kitty: Miscellaneous Woodland Sprite (dubbed "Woodland Farie Barbie". $10 and the laughter of children.
Shawn: Nonspecific shamanistic personification of Pan/The Horned Man ("Shaman Ken." $10 and the spirit of the wolf)
Brendan: Legolas ("Elfin Ranger Lvl 12 Ken." $10 and the one ring that binds us)
Mandy: miscellaneous goth with extra glitter ("Twilight Barbie." $10 and the blood of a virgin)
Melanie: Fem!Shirlock Holmes
Melanie's Skanky Sister Who's Name I Can't Remember: A Slutty What? I'm pretty sure she was a Victoria's Secret Angel.

Yes, there are pictures forthcoming.

Some highlights of the evening:

>>Hunter ran down to the CVS to pick up something in costume, and a homeless man glared at him. Over the night he also was given a dollar and a tequila shot. Another homeless man called him brotha and bumped elbows with him.
>>Someone yelled "Oh my god, Orlando Bloom!" out a car window at Brendan
>>We invented a new drinking game. Every time you see a Slutty!What? you drink.
>>My eyebrows scared people. And/or reminded them of high school. Ive got some GREAT chola pics.
>>Nicole got uproariously drunk. People thought she was really pregnant. She was like "are you kidding? this drunk and smoking if I was really pregnant?" She at one point sat on the infant doll she had pinned to her side, and had to buy Julia a shot to prevent her from calling DCFS.
>>Slutty!Red Riding Hood stopped us in the street to give us candy.
>>Julia and I jammed tribal at SmartBar, and everyone suddenly wanted to learn.
>>The best part of the night was the walk down Clark street from SmartBar to Pick Me Up's, in the thick of costumed masses.
>>We found Waldo!
>>We saw a Slutty!Mexican at Pick Me Up's. A white girl was wearing a sombrero and a stereotypical poncho-blanket as some kind of micro-mini wrap dress. Since I was also dressed, technically, as a skanky Meican, I stood up and shouted "Viva la Raza!... and you don't speak Spanish and have no idea what I just said."

I'm pretty sure there's more, but I will wait til we have pictures.

Nicole: Your purse and keys are at my house. And your car is parked safely in a free no meter no permit zone. And yes it is locked.

I was talking last night about how I question the validity of my opinions and my decisions all the time. This doesn't mean I worry myself into immobility; I know I have to make do with what I have. However, I never feel really wise enough, or really sure, about what I'm doing. I have this category in my head I refer to, "grown ups," who are people who take themselves seriously, and "know better", and act as if they know things, and have the answers and the authority and the wisdom and the experience and stuff. I've always been that little kid acting too mature for my time, masquerading at being a grown up and being mistaken as such. Occasionally in deciding what to do next to best maintain my "behaving like a grown-up" appearance, I refer to this other category of people I know of for example.

"Well," I said to Shawn, "I'm not sure, but some grown ups I know..." I trailed off, laughing at myself. "Wait a minute. I'm turning... 26 in a few days. You're, what... 32?"
"I... uh... something like that." He smiled. "You know that everytime someone asks me that question, I actually have to do the math, right?"
I grinned. "I had the same thing for the first time this year. Stated my age incorrectly and had to think about it. I know my birthday's coming up, but I have to figure out how old I'm turning. Oh, god. We're grown-ups, aren't we?"

This is it exactly:


Less Than Jake - The Rest Of My Life

Kiwi | MySpace Video

Not really a wtf post, but it's a picture of her. Stupidface was a cat I fostered for almost four years before finding her a home about a year and a half ago.

Today I recieved this email:


I thought a few of you out there would like to know.

Much like that point in college when you decide you never want to teach a virgin the ropes again, dating older poly men who have actually done this kind of thing before and know how to behave is WONDERFUL.

mtm2 was okay. referring to our performance, not the rest of the show. it could've been better. we migrated to the left gradually. wasn't awful. looking forward to filming some tandava stuff properly in the near future.

had lunch at osteria via stato with ellen! and nicole tuesday. food poisioning nonwithstanding, it was excellent. especially the with ellen! bit.

have FINALLY paid all the damn bills and debts lurking around over my head. mailed things, filled forms, sent responses, completed renewals and did all the stupid STUFF. have less savings now, but really prefer this consolidated view. its amazing how much this reduces my stress level to not have to constantly worry about trying to remember how the debts are adding up verses the assets and what needs to be done when. someone found alex's cell phone and the car is repaired and ready for pickup. the only thing i have left to do is to renew my driver's liscence.

closer to alex every day.

started moving. that will occupy much of the next two weeks. shawn helped a lot thus far. got a cool new guy, john, living with alex and hunter and i until june. very excited to have a parking spot, laundry in unit, and be close to downtown.

excited to not have shows coming up. may or may not do the floorwork choreo for the student hafla. having less sewing and frantic dress rehearsals would mean i could really polish my core dance skills with the ladies, and get back to writing more.

stella is very, very old.

waxed brendan, mandy, and kitty today. mostly. we ran out of wax before finishing kitty. brendan complained more than either of the women. incidentally, upon seeing his balls for the first time in about eleven years, i can state that they no longer look as absurd to me. they look approximately as normal as all the other men i've seen naked in the intermittent eleven years. not being fourteen probably has something to do with the reduction of absurdity. i have been around enough hippies and enough spas that i can wax anyone's genitalia with clinical detachment.

had a lot of conversations about learning to love and respect and grow closer to others with people who are wiser than they give themselves credit for. it is good. i like alex a lot.

the more sex i have, the more i want. i'm pretty sure alex is happy with this formula.

seriously, is ANYONE doing anything for halloween?

/brain dump

halloween party.

someone having one we can come to?

or enough people not have one that we should throw our own?

lemme know

Lea popped.

Congrats, Lea and Mike!

Huzzah Sophie and Debbie!

1.) Discovered tonight that someone i met recently, who is otherwise cool and interesting in her own right, hates one of my close friends with a fiery, vindictive passion. She took about ten minutes to detail to me what a psycho bitch and slut-wannabe-bellydancer my friend allegedly is, not knowing she was a friend. The rest of the evening was spent waiting to exit this this person's company. I know there are probably two sides to every fight and this person probably has plenty of merits unknown to me, but unfortunately for her I am already on a side for this one. Loyaultie me lie.

2.) I just want to know if we're moving or not. Seriously.

3.) I am pretty much tired of living with Kelley. She is a good human being and I bear her no ill will, nor do I plan to kick her out / move out in a sudden inferno of internet drama, but I'm just sort of tired of listening to her talk at me ad nasuem. She's the kind of person who does not need interactive feedback to keep talking at someone for literal hours. Mostly what she has to talk about is how she / her children / her dog have been wronged, and how good of people they all are, and how things should and ought to be in all situations. None of this is significantly inaccurate. I am just sick to death of hearing about it. I also still don't like fucking dogs. Yes, as she likes to tell me, her dog is a pretty good dog, as dogs go. I don't want to hear it, and I still don't like dogs.

4.) Shawn is cool for not only offering to help us move, but for keeping abreast of the constant changes in our moving plans.

5.) Brendan, Shawn, Kitty, Hunter, Alex and I went through SIX bottle of wine Wednesday, one of which was actually port, over dinner and the batterstar galactica game. Brendan doesn't drink and I did a lot of tasting and bumming off (I the alcohol enzyme deficient didn't even get tipsy) so by that I mean the four of them went through the better part of six bottles of wine. It was pretty great.

6.) Bellydance of various forms all day, kuma's for lunch, sushi for dinner, a good bar and some good beers, more wine and some two step and swing tonight. It was good.

7.) CHRISTINE AND I HAVE THE BEST HAIRPEICE FOR JULIA EVER ZOMG.

8.) I am SO looking forward to our number in Midwest Tribal Mafia next week! PLZ COME SEEZ EVERYONE

9.) so tired sleep now

First anniversary trip to Seattle and Spain ( with commentary! )

Allright, off to work. More soon!

In Skymall they sell little read-aloud pens. They look like roll-on white-out dispensers, but they actually have a little scanner that reads the text you roll the tip over. Some are translators, some are dictionaries, and some just read the text aloud. I want to get one for LaRou.

(LaRou is a blind guy I work with who is of rather limited financial means, as we occasionally find out when he mentions in passing things like a bill identifier, which he could never afford because it was "like two hundred dollars or something." The reading pens run 170-200, btw.)